Now We are Married, What Next?

After you are done with the wedding and the whole ceremony, what next? Well, now the journey of “till death do us part" begins. This is when you start building the kind of home you desire; Marriage is not a bed of roses; it has its ups and downs, it’s just like a beautiful house built to the taste of its owner; a land was acquired, plan was drawn and the building process began. A lot of work, money and patience were put into making that house come to be. The same goes for marriage, it goes whatever way you want it to go and becomes whatever you want it to be 90% of the times. If you want a peaceful home, you have to do the things that bring peace or joy or whatever you desire it to be.

Marriage needs work, it doesn’t make itself, and like a plant needs water to grow so does it require time, patience, perseverance, payer and the word of God. It does not have a final destination; it is till you are called out of this world. A time will come when you would think marriage for you was a mistake or your spouse isn’t the right person for you, those are common phases in marriage that may arise as a result of ongoing struggles or seeing someone else’s marriage you think may be  better than yours. This is when you have to go back to what attracted you to your spouse, do you still see it? If not, ask yourself what may have broken in your spouse or better still in you, then make plans on working towards it, but please let God be the first in that plan.

To have a successful marriage, make God your center of gravity. Don’t be carried away by the relationship you see on TV, most of them are just for the screen. Be concerned with yours, build it step by step and when you see a couple who  is truly happy, find out what they do to stay happy, try new things with your spouse, be flexible marriage doesn’t need rigidity. Pray ceaselessly, when you don’t seem to understand your partner, ask the Holy Spirit for direction.

    It is hard to adapt and live your life by doing right by another person in the name of marriage, no matter the love you have for your spouse, you are still going to step on each other’s toe, and it would be painful to let go of some wrong doings, this is where you ask the Holy Spirit for help again so you can remain in love with your spouse, process of struggle is all worth it, it is what keeps it going and going strong.

Don’t let people fool you that their marriage is perfect, there is no such thing as that, however when you come across people like that, ask yourself these: are they perfect people, or rather is there any perfect person? The book of Isaiah 64:6 tells us that we are all infected and impure with sin. So if these persons are not without blemish, it means they make mistakes and they also go through rough times and patches.

Bear in mind that marriage is not 50/50, Today you may give 70 and your spouse will give just 30, tomorrow you may give 10 and your spouse 90, what matters is what we do as a team to make that day work and be fulfilled, but be aware that there should be no day you shouldn’t be giving anything or pouring into your marriage. Marriage is fun and at the same time serious but not complicated, with God on your side you would move Mountains and achieve greater things together.

Love your partner no matter what, value them, show them compassion, pray for them, don’t just be a husband or a wife, be a friend, study the bible together, raise Godly children and make sure you are in the race of being together not just here but also in eternity even though not as a couple as there is no marriage in heaven; Mathew 22:30, but it would be such a great Joy to see your family up there as well.

I pray that the Lord would make your marriage beautiful and peaceful in every way. Amen