There is no such thing as a PERFECT MARRIAGE!

Have you ever felt so low, and down in your spirit because your marriage isn't what you imagined it to be? Do tears roll down your cheek when you watch a love story and hoped your moment will be as intimate and real as the screen couples? Do you think back to when you were just dating; things were so sweet and the love was so real even through misunderstandings, and now you wonder if your spouse is still the same person?

Now you ask yourself where things went wrong, how your spouse could hurt your feelings and would not even think he/she did anything wrong. How you cry at the middle of the night next to your sleeping partner and they hardly even notice, and at this point you are not sure if there is still love, even the term ‘I love you’ no longer define its originality but a common phrase and response just to keep the mind going. You find yourself enduring each day pretending all is well or hoping it will.

 I’m here to let you know that I feel your pain, I have been there and I know how much it hurts. It hurts so much to the point that you think you can’t breathe and you ponder on questions like, how can someone you love so much be so unaffectionate and careless? How can they not see how much hurt you have on the inside? How can they totally ignore that you haven’t even been yourself for days, weeks or even months?….. Yes! I can totally relate my friend. Been there, done that.  Am I still married? Yes!

To the same person? Oh yes!

 Am I happy? Ahhh, extremely and fulfilled to add

Is my marriage perfect? Of course not.

One thing you should know; my happiness does not depend on my husband or marriage as a whole, it depends on God, my husband is an added blessing but human, otherwise I will be miserable every and anytime things go wrong which is unavoidable. So I ask, where does your happiness lie?

    Truth be told, marriage is not an all easy journey, the bible never said it will be easy and it will surprise you that the bible never meant it solely for our enjoyment, but for building our spiritual life to full maturation as a team and still have fun in the process . How on earth did you think two different people from different backgrounds of life will cohabit peacefully always? no stepping on each other’s toes, no betrayal at any point, needless to say imperfect people! If anyone ever told you that is Marriage, then I’m really sorry to tell you, you were lied to. There is no such thing as a Perfect Marriage, the only perfect there is, is a Perfect Wedding.

Not all that glitter is gold, even your pastor who kisses and cherishes his wife in the presence of his congregation, has his own marital struggles; it may be mild but there is something they are praying for or against pertaining to their marriage. Marriage in itself isn’t hard but because it involves two persons who have to disagree to agree, it becomes hard as they are different and imperfect, which is how it should be. It does two things: brings out the best or worse in you, but the great part of this is that we don't get to do it alone but rather blessed to go through its hurdles with someone who loves us and is in it for real (or at least hopefully),the best part is that God is in it with us if we form the 3 fold cord (extremely important).

The devil does not like it when God’s children are happy, and that’s simply because he knows His own children or followers are not genuinely happy, so he fights back by all means possible, one of his major targets being Marriage. So here's what you do; 

v  fight the devil, not your spouse,

v  bind the devil, not your spouse,

v  course the devil, not your marriage,

v  rebuke the devil, not your spouse,

v  Target the devil, not your spouse

v  Compete with the devil, not your spouse

  One trick of the devil is to work in and through our spouses and he knows that most times we won’t think deeply to know he is actually the one causing us pain, so we bounce back at our spouses because for all we see at that moment is them being very mean to us so we retaliate, giving the devil exactly what he wants. When some spiritual grand rules are not in place, our marriage will be a roller coaster, so what are these grand rules?

Ø  Stay in the place of prayer

Ø  Be ready to forgive; let’s be real, some damages must have been done, but is your spouse not worth forgiving? Think of how many times you have wronged and hurt God. Honestly they will never stop hurting you, it’s one of the responsibilities of being able to love, it’s almost never intentional

Ø  Bless your marriage and spouse daily, no matter what it seem like

Ø  Thank God every day for your spouse;  do this in their presence, you have no idea how much you would have elevated them

Ø  See the devil in your fights, not your “mean” spouse

Ø  Stay in the word(the bible) and follow its principles

Ø  Appreciate the one in your life, it’s not easy living to make sure someone else is happy and finding your own happiness

Ø  Take responsibilities, your pride  is not for your spouse, so own up to your mistakes and be willing to correct them if necessarily possible

Ø  Watch your spouse’s back, they need you to pull them up when they are going down  or remind them that you have a common goal when they seem to be distracted, especially if they can’t even notice.

I tell you, if these become a habit, your marriage will excel just as God planned. Does this mean it will become an all smooth ride? No! But now you are aware that you are in a constant spiritual warfare and have the tools to fight, so it’s a big positive change. I like to go on, but, have to work on another exciting topic coming your way next. LOVE!