Interview With Pastor Jessica Gonzalez

MaritalValues: OK guys, before we start let me just give you a briefing about Jessica. She is an Associate pastor and presiding Spanish pastor at the First Assembly of God church in Waterbury, CT. She burns with the fire of God (I mean an Amazing, spirit filled woman of God!),very down to Earth, with a sweet and contagious personality. So, she's married with Kids,you will find out for how long in a bit as she will be taking us through an exciting journey on her marriage, some challenges,successes and how they have made it this far especially as a pastors.

MaritalVlues: Hello Pastor Jessica, thanks for granting this interview. it is really a blessing and great privilege.

Ok, can you give your full name? Shrink it if it’s too long (Laughter):

Pastor Jess.: My name is Jessica Gonzalez, Je (that’s what my hubby calls me), Ma (that’s what my kids call me), and Pastor Jessica (that’s what the church calls me).

MaritalValues: Very exciting. Where is Pastor Jess. from?

Pastor Jess.: I was born and raised in Hartford, CT. I grew up in the projects WOAHH

MaritalValues: I'm not going to ask what WOAHH means (Laugther).
Who exactly is pastor Jess?

Pastor Jess.: I am a wife, mother, and Kingdom of God lover. My desire is please God in all I do. I’m not perfect just covered by His GRACE!

MaritalValues: So you are married obviously; what is the name of the favored man and how long have you been married?

Pastor Jess.: The name of my first and only love is Elias Gonzalez. We have been together for twenty-six years and married twenty-23 years. That’s really crazy because it does not feel that long. Praise Jesus!!!!

MaritalValues :26 year?wow!Awesome! How did you decide he was right for you?

Pastor Jess.: I knew Pastor Elias was the ONE because he was present. I have very little knowledge of what it was to have a man present in my life. The only man that was really there for me was my grandfather Roman.  Elias was there present and very caring.  He became the protector and provider I longed for. He made me feel safe.

MaritalValues: If I didn’t have an amazing man in my life, I definitely would be jealous! I can also imagine it being hard to not have a father present. What was the first year of being married like?

Pastor Jess.: Our first year of marriage was very difficult. We both struggled with our roles as husband, wife, and parents. I thank God for Jesus!!! In our long journey we learned the hard way. I call it the hard way with Jesus. Coming from different backgrounds didn’t help, He grew up with both of his parents and I grew up with only my mama. He grew up in Puerto Rico as a “macho man” and I grew up in the USA as an “independent women.” The only thing that helped us in this venture was GOD.

 We decided to not give up on each other; I decided to run into my Father's hands(God) so He can rescue our home and legacy. My hubby decided to isolate himself but that was temporary. God’s plans are for good not evil, our story becomes a love story with GOD.

MaritalVlues: I know most of us had our own definition of marriage even before we became married, if yours is different from your initial thought, what would you say changed?

Pastor Jess.: I had no definition of marriage. I wanted to know more as I grew in the Lord. My definition developed throughout the years of praying, reading, and hearing others.

MaritalVlues: Nice! All through the years of being married, have there been times you contemplated giving up and letting go?

Pastor Jess.: Yes there have been times when I contemplated giving up in our marriage but God. He has sustained us in all time.

MaritalValues: what kept you?

Pastor Jess.: What kept us together was the power of prayer, fasting, the word, and obedience. I learned how to listen to God and apply his truth to every situation. In my many attempts to please God I failed a lot. I was lacking big time. The love of God is so powerful, It became real when I fell on my knees and died to myself. That’s what I did. I remember hearing him say, “Be quiet!” I heard his voice and obeyed. It is really hard but it works.

MaritalValues: Every marriage has brought tears as much as joy and laughter, what has been the toughest part of sharing your life with someone?

Pastor Jess.: The toughest part of sharing life with someone is seeing the person you love walk in error and letting God teach the lesson. I often want to be my husband’s prophet but he needs me to be his wife. I am his help mate.  

MaritalValues: That is powerful, i can totally relate. How have you dealt with this? 

Pastor Jess.: How have I dealt with that? Well, God is still working in me. I’m really glad about that; I need reality checks in my marriage life, So I sit back and let God be God in my husband's life. I try not to interfere with his process with HIM. When he gets the lesson not only is my marriage blessed but my house is blessed.

MaritalValues: I know you have been blessed with 5 beautiful children? Was there any time they contributed to the stress your marriage might have had? How have you handled this?

Pastor Jess.: Yes we have 5 amazing children that are so very different. They demanded a lot of time from us. Our parenting was getting stressful at times; We had to learn how to balance marriage and parenting, Pastor Elias and I went to the park with our kids, then we took time out together and by ourselves. If we wanted to last long we had to fill in the calendar with family time, alone time, and date nights. The home can become unhealthy if there is no balance. We still have to be careful with this, Life happens but we must pause and evaluate. 

 MaritalValues: Absolutely! One of the biggest struggles in marriage is effective communication, how do you handle this part of your marriage?

Pastor Jess.: Effective communication comes with listening, learning, and applying.  I’ve read books and gone to marriage conferences. I pray for clarity, wisdom, and understanding. I invite the Holy Spirit to help me speak and understand better. Some days I need more help than others.  All I can say is His GRACE…

MaritalValues: Absolutely again (laugther). Marriages go through a lot of trying times and God is faithful enough to help us through those times, any success story you think can strengthen other marriages out there?

Pastor Jess.: I have many success stories, this one is my favorite. There was a time when Pastor Elias was not seeking God (beginning of marriage) . He lost his job and was going through a form of depression (I believe, he was not diagnosed by a doctor). He was so hard on himself for not being a good provider and it took him into a very dark place. At night I would gently rub his head, I wanted him to feel free of the heaviness he carried. What he didn’t know was that I prayed, I did that for a long time. One night he asked me if I was praying. I asked him why? He told that he felt something come out of him. It just left; I said, “Yes I’ve been praying.” We experienced the wonder working power of God. HE is so faithful!!!

MaritalValues: Wow! It's a blessing to have a spouse that can cover you in their prayers especially when you don't have the strength, i must commend you for being a strong woman. 
Amongst all that you have learnt from your husband, is there any one you may like to share?

Pastor Jess.: What have I learned from my husband Pastor Elias Gonzalez? He taught me not to give up on us. He refused to leave when I wanted him to and he refused to leave when he wanted to. Yeah, we are hard heads that  rely on God in our worst times. We face life with our faith not by our feelings, It has been a hard and wonderful journey. All I can say is THANK YOU JESUS!

MaritalValues: Amen. What advice would you have for people contemplating giving up on their marriage?

Pastor Jess.: Do not GIVE UP!  It’s easy to give up. Invest in the 2^nd most important relationship of your life. Marriage does not have to be perfect to be good If God is allowed in a marriage and HIS VOICE becomes louder than the issues, then your marriage wins. Build your house on THE ROCK.  The book of Matthew chapter 7: 24- 25 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the wind blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.

MaritalValues: Very true pastor. Finally, do you have any words for your husband?

Pastor Jess.: Yes I do!

To my Brown Sugar….,

Today I chose you again as my soul mate forever. I promise to go to God when I’m in doubt, I promise to honor you as the man God created you to be for me. I’m sorry for all the times I have failed, I pray God stands in those gaps and you will walk it out in grace with me.  Before God and man I give myself to you knowing all the risks and relying on our God to keep us together until death bring us to HIS wonderful eternal light. I love you!!! 

MaritalValues: Amen to that! WOW! This has been one amazing interview I didn’t want to end, thank you so much for your time and realness Pastora, I pray God will continue to make your marriage what He wants it to be and no weapon formed against would stand. Thanks again, I love you.

Pastor Jess.: TO GOD BE THE GLORY FOREVER AND EVER

AMEN! LOVE YOU

MaritalValues: Amen! watch out for the next session guys, our guest is another wonderful and inspirational person,you will be thrilled and motivated, so keep those fingers crossed. until then, stay focused and God bless.