why you cant afford to go into Marriage with Unresolved Negative Emotions

Whether you like it or not, marriage comes with its own stressors and you don't have to agree with this fact. Some things that could pose stress in a marriage are children, difference in personality, difference in opinions, decision making, and the list goes on. These are enough to crash your marriage if not handled properly, so you want to make peace with whatever unresolved negative emotions you have before you enter into a new life commitment with someone.

Negative emotions are very common but are rarely recognized or payed close attention, hence we ignore them or don't think they could effect our marriage adversely. These emotions could be from bad breakup, previous emotional, verbal, and or physical abuse, broken trust, witness to bad parental marriage, etc.

I like to educate you on why you can’t afford to bring this baggage with you, there would be no sugar coating, and if you want your marriage to succeed, then this is it.

v Your marriage may end even before it starts                  
With all the stress that accompanies marriage, which however could strengthen it if well managed, you don’t want to bring alongside unhealed wounds from the past, these emotions pose greater threat to your marriage, they are happiness killers, deal with them and let them heal before starting a new phase of marital life otherwise you may be signing your divorce papers even before you get your marriage certificate

v They will expand future doubts and misunderstandings

 Because you didn’t make peace with any unpleasant or painful emotions before venturing a new life commitment especially with the same person, there is very high tendency that everything happening in your marriage that resembles what happened before, now appears to you as the same. This alone will kill any chance of trust in your marriage, be at peace with your past before diving into your future.

v  They are the unrecognized Foundation of your Marriage

 When you bring in unresolved emotions into your marriage, it becomes an extension of your past. You have not given your marriage an opportunity of a new beginning, and with this comes a lot of pain and insecurities. You gradually become subjective to situations; in such marriage there is no long lasting peace, it is always a roller coaster.

v  You will exhaust yourself even before the real deal

Don’t be deceived, marriage is not an all smooth ride, it comes with various challenges but the great part is that you don’t have to face them alone. However if you bring these unresolved emotions, there are very high possibilities of you giving up when your marriage faces these trying times because you have failed to realize that once you are married, you sign a contract into a new beginning which should be a clean slate, a free heart, and fresh emotions, even the bible says old things are past away 2 Corinthians 5:17.

You begin to count your encounters from the previous which quickly tires you out, making you think you have had too much,meanwhile you have been married only 2 years but have been counting from the 10 years you have been in a relationship.

My question is, is this what you want? Would you rather wait the time to reconcile fully with your past or these negative emotions before making a permanent commitment or suffer in the future because of this incertitude?

                                                       

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