Marital Values

https://youtu.be/GZSN_YmEwP8

https://youtu.be/ToOHMyaP57Y So guys, I had the privilege of sitting with the Senior Pastor of the Convenant Life Baptist Church Benin, Leadership consultant and founder of the Living Oracle; Dr. Chika Ossai-Ugbah and I couldn't be more grateful for the opportunity to be able to talk marriage with him. We addressed the topic; How to communicate in the Midst of Strong opinion. Now, You all know how Communication can go when you are talking to your spouse about something they strongly disagree with or something you have a strong opinion about and this could be very frustrating and most times turn into unnecessary stressful argument. Rev. Chika did not only talk about this, he outlined how we can in fact present  our "case" as it relates to this and he was transparent enough to give examples of his own experience. Trust me when I say this is something you need to see, even for the unmarried.  Take time to watch it,theres so much wisdom shared in this one inte...

The term; you sound mean but your heart is kind simply describes the contradiction between your intentions and your words. Many of us go through situations and experiences that change us or make us put up walls just so we can hide our weaknesses, pain or frustration, they also make us scared, ashamed and sometimes even live in pretense so we are not judged or penalised by the society; in the long run, we gradually morph into a different person but our innate personality never changes from what God made us to be. Sometimes, only those close to us can still say "he/she is not that way or she/he is actually a nice person" when others tend to think our actions or statements portray negativity, meanness or wickedness. People tend to also read meanings to what we say or do based on their level of understanding and comprehension; so even though we intend to mean well, because they don't understand or are not used to that kind of act, they interpret it as something enti...

Hello there, its been a while, over a year maybe? well it feels good to be connecting with you again and I want to quickly share a piece of my life with you in this post, so sit back, grab a drink, tea, coffee and I pray you get one or two things from it.                         DEPRESSION So here's how depression used to kick in for me: it starts most times with sadness that generates from nothing, absolutely nothing. Sometimes it could just be an unexplained mood swing, not getting what I expect or even stress. Then the devil begins to work on my heart and I start to think, generate and give myself lots of reasons why I should be sad and boom! I find myself in a state of severe sadness; sometimes I cry and throw myself a pity party. Sometimes I expect family and friends to notice my sadness and try to make me happy and if that didn't  happen I'm oh so cranky, annoyed, blame everyone for my...

Wow! I can’t believe it’s been months since I connected with you guys. Trust me; it’s nothing intentional; life just blew me to another side but for a good course. Well it’s good to be back. I officially want to say a happy new year to you and I miss hearing and reading your thoughts. I am hoping you have kept me in your prayers as I have you in mine.   Today, I want to open up a part of my life to you; a lot of people have asked and still asks why I’m so into “this marriage thing”, especially counseling. In fact some asked why I am so interested in seeing couples succeed even though I may not know them. Aside from these questions, I have also received compliments on how inspiring, beautiful and perfect my marriage is. I am indeed happy that my marriage is a source of inspiration and thank you for letting it minister to you. While I don't deny the fact that my marriage is a major blessing in my life and I believe it's at a place where God wants it to be, I want ...

Have you ever felt so low, and down in your spirit because your marriage isn't what you imagined it to be? Do tears roll down your cheek when you watch a love story and hoped your moment will be as intimate and real as the screen couples? Do you think back to when you were just dating; things were so sweet and the love was so real even through misunderstandings, and now you wonder if your spouse is still the same person? Now you ask yourself where things went wrong, how your spouse could hurt your feelings and would not even think he/she did anything wrong. How you cry at the middle of the night next to your sleeping partner and they hardly even notice, and at this point you are not sure if there is still love, even the term ‘I love you’ no longer define its originality but a common phrase and response just to keep the mind going. You find yourself enduring each day pretending all is well or hoping it will.  I’m here to let you know that I feel your pain, I have been there ...

You look at your marriage and wonder and ask how things got so sour. You are not even sure if you are happy or just living one day at a time. Things seem to have turned around from sweet to bitter, from playing to frequent arguments, and when your spouse tells you “I love you”, you respond just so he/she doesn’t feel hurt even though deep down they sense that you may not mean it and may also feel the same way. You find yourself cry just by seeing other couples that appear happy even in a movie, and the only question running through your mind is “how did we get here?” and  feel the hotness of your blood running through your veins and your heart racing with heaviness. Well, this pain, exhaustion, struggle, coldness and final breakdown in marriage often begins sadly with a ''mere'' action called IGNORING. Ignoring the little things that hurt your spouse Ignoring your spouse who is sitting alone looking sad and you assume they just need alone time even though it rea...

As humans, a lot of times we speak and judge people in their current state without looking beyond the surface. Sometimes we begin to analyze the mistakes we assumed were made that resulted to the present and a lot of times we are wrong.                             I decided to make this video after a discussion I had with two couples whose kids are battling with drug use and some unhealthy addictions. Honestly, I have seen people blame parents of such individuals and to some extent they have their own valid reasons to pass these blames (even though no one is in the position to judge others), however it is not the parents fault in all cases. We have to remind ourselves every time that we are in a constant spiritual warfare, the devil is never asleep, and so we need to uphold each other rather than kick those who are already down. Speaking with these couples was more of an ey...

Sex is a gift from God, sacred, holy and meant for the enjoyment of married couples alone. Now, every couple wants to be sexually satisfied by their partner which is not a bad thing, it is how the body is made and sexual urges were given to us by God Himself, so there is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. It is very fulfilling when we are sexually satisfied, beautiful, precious and very spiritual; every experience should be kept private. No matter how close a person is to you, do not let down your guard and start telling them about your sex life, describing how it started to the point of orgasm. You might ask; can I just give my best friend a modicum on how my spouse satisfies me in bed? The answer is No; however general statements like; I have a good sex life or I do enjoy sex, may not necessarily pose any threat to your marriage but still possible. First of all, the human mind is not only deep but very graphic and broad, so when you go ahead to ...

Whether you like it or not, marriage comes with its own stressors and you don't have to agree with this fact. Some things that could pose stress in a marriage are children, difference in personality, difference in opinions, decision making, and the list goes on. These are enough to crash your marriage if not handled properly, so you want to make peace with whatever unresolved negative emotions you have before you enter into a new life commitment with someone. Negative emotions are very common but are rarely recognized or payed close attention, hence we ignore them or don't think they could effect our marriage adversely. These emotions could be from bad breakup, previous emotional, verbal, and or physical abuse, broken trust, witness to bad parental marriage, etc. I like to educate you on why you can’t afford to bring this baggage with you, there would be no sugar coating, and if you want your marriage to succeed, then this is it. v   Your marriage may end even before ...

MaritalValues: OK guys, before we start let me just give you a briefing about Jessica. She is an Associate pastor and presiding Spanish pastor at the First Assembly of God church in Waterbury, CT. She burns with the fire of God (I mean an Amazing, spirit filled woman of God!),very down to Earth, with a sweet and contagious personality. So, she's married with Kids,you will find out for how long in a bit as she will be taking us through an exciting journey on her marriage, some challenges,successes and how they have made it this far especially as a pastors. MaritalVlues: Hello Pastor Jessica, thanks for granting this interview. it is really a blessing and great privilege. Ok, can you give your full name? Shrink it if it’s too long (Laughter): Pastor Jess.: My name is Jessica Gonzalez, Je (that’s what my hubby calls me), Ma (that’s what my kids call me), and Pastor Jessica (that’s what the church calls me). MaritalValues: Very exciting. Where is Pastor Jess. from? ...